"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked." --Jerry Seinfeld

+----------- Bizarre Product Warning Labels -----------+

Batman Costume - Warning: Cape does not enable user to fly.

European Camera - This camera will only work when film is
inside.

Liquid Plummer - Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store
beverages.

Toilet Plunger - Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Little Ones Baby Lotion - Keep away from children

Hair Coloring - Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Boot's Children's Cough Medicine - Do not drive a car or run
machinery.

Disney World is bigger than the world's 5 smallest countries.

***

There is a city called Rome in every continent.

If the population of China walked past you in a single file,
the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction. O_o

Whew! That was alot of stuff...

V Here's a list of things that you didn't know had names V

Rowel: the revolving star on the back of a cowboy's spurs

Columella: the bottom part of the nose that separates the
nostrils

Saddle: the rounded part on the top of a book of matches

Ophyron: the space between your eyebrows

Rasceta: the creases on the inside of your wrist

Purlicue: the space between the extended thumb and index
finger

Nittles: the punctuation marks designed to denote swear
words in comics

Ferrule: the metal band on the top of a pencil that holds
the eraser in place

Peen: on a hammer, the end opposite the striking face

Obdormition: when an arm or a leg "goes to sleep" as a
result of numbness caused by pressure on a nerve

Keeper: the loop on a belt that holds the end in place after
it has passed through the buckle

Armsate: the hole in a shirt or a sweater through which you
put your hand and arm

---

Now for an edition of Count's CrAzY news!

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. - Resting in peace was not an option for
deceased Michael Hendrickson after his girlfriend Karen
Stolzmann dug up his cremated remains and took them with
her. Stolzmann, 44, was sentenced to 60 days in jail for
stealing his ashes, possibly out of spite for his family.
Hendrickson was 27 when he died in 1992 from a self-
inflicted gunshot wound. His relatives discovered last fall
that his remains were gone. Beer and cigarettes buried with
him were also missing. Authorities suspected Stolzmann, who
had lived with Hendrickson and was with him when he killed
himself. Detectives searched her home, finding her hiding
in the shower and located the remains in her garage.

***

PITTSBURGH, Pa. - How do you explain this one to your
parents? A 17-year-old girl was engaging in some obviously
bizarre "bedroom activities" when she was accidentally shot
by her boyfriend. She was wounded in the groin when she
received a bullet from the .45-caliber handgun and had to be
taken to the hospital. Her boyfriend, Timothy Madden, 23,
was charged with aggravated assault, reckless endangerment
and corruption of a minor. The incident occurred on Sunday
afternoon at Madden's apartment. "They were engaged in some
bizarre activities in his bedroom," Ross senior detective
and public information officer William Barrett said. "The
gun, we believe, accidentally discharged."

***

RICHMOND, British Columbia - Mounties found a man sleeping
in a car thanks to a passer-by. Upon further investigation
the officers discovered a screwdriver in the ignition of
the running vehicle. The Mounties were unable to wake the
man while yelling into a bullhorn. After they pounded on
the door he woke up and exited the car while it was still
in gear. Officers acted quickly and stopped the vehicle
before it could roll away. Now the drowsy desperado faces
charges of possessing stolen property and three counts of
failing to comply with a probation order.

***

MARYVILLE, Tenn. - Police apprehended a man on his 23rd
birthday who was running naked while covered in nacho
cheese. Birthday boy Michael David Monn plead guilty to
charges ranging from burglary to public intoxication. The
incident which occurred in July 2004 ended with a plea deal
allowing Monn to receive supervised probation instead of the
initial three years prison sentence. According to
prosecutors Monn was drunk during the time he burglarized a
swimming pool snack bar. An officer found him in the pool's
parking lot running towards his jeep with stolen goods, a
box of snacks and a container of nacho cheese. After he was
caught officers found his clothes and an open bottle of vodka
in his vehicle.

That should be plenty of news for you...

---

Now here's a little dose of trivia for you people.

The only painting Vincent van Gogh sold in his lifetime was The Red Vineyard.

The Roman emperor Nero "married" his male slave Scotus.

In ancient egypt, priests plucked every hair from their
bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

The architech who built the kremlin had his eyes gouged out
by Ivan the Terrible so that he'd never be able to design
another building like it.

Spiral staircases in medieval castles ran clockwise so that
attacking knights climbing the stairs couldn't use their
right hands -their sword hands- while the defending knights
coming down could. Left-handed men, believed to descend from
the devil, couldn't become knights.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king
from history: Spades- King David; Clubs- Alexander the Great;
Hearts- Charlemagne; Diamonds- Julius Caesar

That does it for trivia.

---

Now for a riddle:

It is in a rock but not in a stone,
it is in marrow but not in a bone.
It is in a bolster but not in a bed,
it is not living, nor is it dead.
What is it?

Post your answer and win... glory.

That's enough for now, but I may come back and edit if I feel like adding more of my material...

That's very nice. Men's magazine will help men in some situation with women.